Grateful

School's out for the summer! And though I've been out on maternity leave anyway, I'm so excited that my husband is done and that we get to spend the summer with our little girl!

I was explaining this to Emerson yesterday..."today's the last day of school, and then Daddy will be home with us every day..."

My voice totally caught in my throat on the word Daddy. It was one of those moments when the enormity of the blessings in my life hit me hard. To have a gorgeous, happy, healthy baby with a man I adore...to be a family...This is something I've been wanting for as long as I can remember. I hope I never take it for granted.

My love affair with cloth diapers, Part 1

That's right...Part 1. I have so much to say I couldn't fit it in one post. :)

Before I was even pregnant, I knew I wanted to use cloth diapers with my baby. And it wasn't even a financial decision. The huge amount of waste created by disposable diapers is something I cannot ignore. I think it has a lot to do with the time I've spent in Latin America. Trash, and the way it's handled, is different in third world and developing countries. Litter is everywhere, and something I saw all over--in parks and ditches, on the side of the road and on the beach--was disposable diapers.

In fact, toward the end of my four and a half months studying in Central America, my group visited a dump. There were countless families living IN the dump, making a "living" by collecting recyclables that had been thrown away and selling them. Years later I can still smell the stench of that place. In my mind's eye I can see the endless expanse of refuse, and the innumerable amount of disposable diapers contributing to one of the saddest sights I have ever seen.

Here at home, our trash is better hidden from us, and after enough time passes its easy to forget what happens when my husband wheels that grey can out to the curb every Tuesday. But somehow the emotion connected to disposable diapers has never worn off for me.

Let me be clear that if you're a disposable diaper parent, I'm not judging. There are a lot of ways I could further reduce my own environmental impact. However, of you ask me about my cloth diapers, I'm liable to talk your ear off...and if you express an interest in using them I might actually jump up and down.

I've been pleased to find out that cloth diapering is actually easier than I thought! And I have become a total cloth diaper snob:) On the occasions that Emerson has been in a disposable, (and yes, that happens occasionally), I hate how they smell and the way her poor bum looks afterward.

In this series I plan to describe my cloth diapering journey, and hopefully help someone that wants to cloth diaper but is not sure where to start.

So, what are your thoughts on cloth vs. disposable? Why would you consider (or NEVER consider) cloth diapering? What questions do you have about the actual day in and day out process of using cloth? Leave me your comments and questions and I'll address as many as I can!

Want more on cloth diapers?  Read about my love affair...Part 2 and Part 3.  Or see how it all works Day to day with cloth.

What I've learned in 8 weeks

This post could also be an excerp from my imaginary book called The First-time Mother's Handbook.  It is the chapter on baby's bodily functions.  Enjoy!


If you are planning on welcoming a newborn baby into your home, beware of the following:

You will be pooped on, peed on, and puked on.  Get used to the idea and embrace it.  It means your baby's systems are working.  And buy lots of laundry detergent.

When trying to leave the house, put your clothes on at the VERY. LAST. MINUTE.  I'm not joking.  Otherwise, see above with the poop/pee/puke.

Use caution when changing diapers.  Newborns can poop with surprising power and distance.  Be sure you have an extra changing pad cover (or two) and an extra change of clothes. Are you sensing the theme yet?

Put the burp rag over your shoulder, even if it's just the quick jaunt from the living room to the nursery.  Because if you don't, the baby WILL spit up.  All over you.

The good news is, as a mom, you will quickly become desensitized.  When you carry Baby to her bathtub, you'll barely notice when she pees on your arm.  You'll be able to change a diaper with all the poo staying in the dirty diaper...usually.  And before you know it, your baby will burp a half gallon of curdled milk right down your shirt and you'll hardly blink an eye.  Seriously.

And, for the record, the smile of an eight week old that just had a HUGE burp is pretty priceless.  Definitely worth the dirty shirt.

Great with Child

The Bump at 38 weeks

Even though we've got 10 days until my due date...the wait for this baby girl is almost enough to drive me crazy!  We've got our bedroom ready for her pack'n'play (right next to my side of the bed), the baby swing set up in the living room, teeny tiny diapers on the changing table, and a closet full of the sweetest little girl wardrobe.  At least once daily I nearly (or completely) burst into tears because I'm still pregnant.  I'm so very, very pregnant.  Please come soon, Baby!

Don't worry.  I am fully aware that it is good for my little girl to have enough time in the womb.  I know that she's growing and preparing for life on the outside...and I definitely believe that God's timing is perfect.  But there are moments (such as when she's kicking my ribs and squeezing my bladder simultaneously) that I'm so very impatient.  I see moms in the grocery store with their babies in a front pack, and I am so jealous!  Ugh...that Baby Bjorn looks so much more comfortable than my huge stomach!

I know.  You don't have to tell me that there are a lot of other things that come with having the baby...and the end of pregnancy...and they're not all that glamorous.  And I just might want to enjoy these last few days (weeks?) when I can go somewhere without the diaper bag or sleep whenever I want...

But I want to see my little girl so badly.  I want to hold her in my arms, and see her in her daddy's arms, and smell her head and pat her tiny little diapered bum.  I want to show her how much we have anticipated her arrival and somehow try to express the love that I have for her.

Waiting for it isn't easy.  But I'm trying.

Twirl

There's a new button on my sidebar...below the belly pic.  Click on it to read a blog post that I love.

It's always good to remember that as much as I love this tiny girl kicking my hip bones, her heavenly father loves her infinitely more.

Something I've wanted to say...

I thought that if I started a baby blog, I'd have endless things to write about.  Pregnancy makes it very easy to obsess!  Symptoms, emotions, nurseries, tiny socks, planning...there's so much!

But I'm often hesitant to hop online and type up whatever random pregnancy thing is on the forefront of my mind.  And I think I know why.  There's something I want you to understand.

I wasn't always pregnant.  *Duh.  Thanks, Beth.  Everybody knows that human gestation is only 40 weeks.  Of course you weren't always pregnant.*

What I mean is that I've wanted to be pregnant for a long time.  And, for many people, wanting to be pregnant isn't enough to make it happen.  I mean, wanting to be and not taking any...ahem...precautions...doesn't mean it's gonna happen.

And technically, the truth is that I have been pregnant before.  But not for long.  Our first pregnancy happened after several months sans precautions.  I remember being surprised that it took so long!  I come from a very, very fertile lineage.  (My parents combined have 14 siblings, who have gone on to produce my 45 first cousins.  Who in turn are producing countless second cousins...)

So after too many months of a disappointing single pink line on the stick...I came to the conclusion that it wasn't time.  I knew I couldn't control God's timing, so I went on with my life.  And, of course, that's when it happened.  Late period, two pink lines, joy and elation, peeing all the time, calls to the future grandparents, etc.  I was PREGNANT!

But then...There aren't really words to describe how I felt when I realized that we were losing our baby.  So many hopes and dreams and such powerful love...and yet we were powerless. 

I want you to know that I've been pregnant before, and it did not go as I had planned.

Praise God, this pregnancy is different.  You've seen the proof, right?  I want you to know that I realize how lucky I am.  And I'm not blogging to mindlessly brag about my pregnancy...I'm blogging to celebrate and cherish it.  This connection I have with my daughter, the fact that God is knitting her together in my womb is a privilege and miracle that I wasn't sure I'd ever get to experience.

And so, if you're reading this, and pregnancy hasn't been an easy thing in your life...if you've suffered through miscarriage or infertility, or even if you're waiting for the lack of precautions to pay off with the double pink lines...I feel for you.  If I know your story, I pray for you.  And our experiences remind me that much more to be grateful for what God is doing in my life.